Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Nova explained

I watched “Nova” last night in between handing out candy. It was about black holes. Let me break it down for ya.
Ya see, these smart sumbitches in the South Pole, Hawaii and Chile figured out that all of the galaxies have black holes and that is what is causing the rotation in them bastards. So all the stars and planets in each galaxy are like little turds just before going down the toilet. Now deep down inside of the black hole, well… it’s black..for a while. Then there’s all this light down in there that is really just stored up energy from all the stars it sucked in. Now sometimes, that energy will explode and it will be a whole lot like lighting a fart, but it comes outta both ends. They know this cause they seen it, and they taped it on the telescope somehow and showed it to me.
Our galaxy, the Milky Way, is a little one and our black hole is GRAVEYARD DEAD!
It really ain’t spinning no more, so there’s no real threat of us getting’ sucked down any time soon. BUT! Our closest neighbor galaxy, Andromenda….now thass a big ‘ol sumbitch! And it’s headed our way at the blazing speed of about 700 million light years an hour. How in the hell do ya get that many years in an hour, I don’t know..I guess ya gotta ask one of them bastards. But anyway, Andromenda is gonna eat us up cause we are only about a single light year across. It’s toilet is still flushing and hard too! So at the current speed that it’s traveling in our direction it should get to us and swallow us in Oooohhh…..about 10 billion years. Makes ya feel kinda small don’t it?


Anonymous said...

excellent recap. it would be helpful if shows like that would have a little interpreter box in the bottom corner with your picture and then every once in a while, you could pop up and explain what we've just seen, only you'd use words like "smart sumbitches" and "little turds just before going down the toilet." I'd watch more often!

Tom Meltzer said...

Swallowing us up won't be much of a strain for Andromenda. Great post.