Every month or so I will "treat" myself, more like "allow" myself, to stop in for a greasy, nasty good Bojangles biscuit. If you don't know Bojangles (pronounced by the hardcore as "Bo-hon-glaze"), first of all I feel sorry for you but secondly, it's a Cajun oriented fast food joint only found in the South. And just like any fast food joint they are all different. Some have mayo based slaw, some have the vinegar based, some have grits, some don't, but they all all have the basic tasty menu, complete with all the Cajun spices and hot sauces, chicken, fries, pinto beans and yes, biscuits! Their biscuits rock! Which makes for a great morning business right? There's usually a line around the building no matter which one you go to. The one I stop at mostly is the one coming into Raleigh on old 64 (not coming into town on the "AutoBunn"). And keep in mind that it's when I feel my worst that their biscuits are the best. So I feel especially bad this past Wednesday morning and decided it was time for a couple, yes two! ...egg and cheese biscuits. Dude hands'm out the window and I tear into number one riding up the road, Day-yam! "thass good!" I say as the grease starts reaching to my wrist. I feel around in the bag for a napkin. "wait a minute!" I can't find a napkin! I feel the other biscuit and actually dumped it from it's wrapper looking for a napkin. You mean to tell me there's not a napkin in the bag, I don't have one in the truck and the shit is running to my ELBOW?! This is disastrous!
"Those muthaf***ers got all that money and they can't afford to put two little napkins in a damn bag! what do napkins cost? A penny for like...30 of'm or something...jeez! You bastards! I ain't NEVER coming back to this bitch AGAIN!" I'm cussing the hell out of'm as I pull the other biscuit from the bag. I look inside and sure enough, no damn napkin. I start wiping my arm off on my paint clothes, cussing away. I can't even taste the second one cause I'm so damn mad. Finally, I'm done eating as I'm weaving through traffic and almost reach my destination. I grab the bag beside me and crush it in disgust and throw it into the passenger side floorboard. I peak again to the spot where the bag came from because two little white things caught my eye. Two napkins laid innocently, waiting to serve me. Apparently, in my haste to grab the first biscuit I had pulled the little darlings out of the bag by accident and they fell to the side.
OK, Bojangles...You're off the hook this time...but I'm watching you!