turn on Granny!

So you love the music and wanna share with Grandma but you’re worried about the language? That means you gotta burn her a “safe” list of “good” songs, her own personal CD. OK lemme see if I can help. After all, we wouldn’t wanna see Grandma’s face while listening to lyrics like “getting’ drunk, getting’ naked, gettin’ laid and getting’ OUT!” now would we? And we don’t wanna get too loud either so try these out for her:

ROTTED ON THE VINE
Its all folksy and shit, kinda like back in her day.
LET’S SEE IF WE CAN MAKE IT
It’s a positive song about marriage and fighting through tough times,
and it’s not too loud either. Kinda hard to believe it was recorded on
a four track cassette machine.
YOU KNOW ME
Its gotta good beat and she can dance to it…or wash dishes.
JESUS IN THE ALLEY
If she’s any kind of Grandma at all she’ll like Jesus!
$100 A WEEK
She’s bound to like this one, its Country or…something.
ALL DRESSED UP
Hell, a good song is a good song and I got lucky on this one, but her being old and all she can prolly relate to the sentiment on this one, “all dressed up and nowhere to go…” So make sure when you give her this CD, take her out to the mall or something. Get her out of the house. She’ll like that.
RAINDROPS
Girls seems to really like the romance novel imagery on this one, I think she’ll remember love and that whole thing and really dig it. It’s also dripping with this thing called mel-o-dee!
LOST YOUR NUMBER
It’s also dripping with melody and has a few good lines that she’ll love, especially
“had it in my pocket guess my mama musta washed it”
ABOUT YOU
Not sure she’ll like the third verse with the female masturbation imagery…or get it…(or if anybody did!) but she’ll dig the melody fo sho’!

Well that’s good enough, that’s nine songs. You’ll be lucky to get her to stay awake for half of those and if she nods off…slide “Check Please” in. Oh…and turn it up!
That'll learn her!