all the old dudes

So the old dude I’ve been working for the past 9 days is like the Godfather, sounds JUST like him. He whispers under his breath and expects you to hear his little chestnuts. He mostly mutters directions for me. “There’s a grubbin’ hoe…(breath)around back…(another breath) if you wanna level (another breath) the dirt on the side of the house (cough!) for your ladder” or “there’s some boards (wheeze!) in the closet upstairs…(pause)… for your ladder on that rubber (stare off into space for a while) roof”. There’s not really any social banter between us, mostly just gruff old bastard-speak and my nods “yes sir” or “no sir”. He reads on the porch out back all day so I can’t play the talk radio, fart or talk or sing to myself, just QUiiiiET time. Now he’s got reason. He had some kind of stomach tumor or something a few years back but I can’t help but think he’s been like this all of his life. Maybe, even as a kid. I can see him as a 12 year old all bent over, grumbling and bitchin’ about the other kids making too much noise while he’s trying to read his science books. At one time he was an engineer professor at a local college. Boy, that musta been one boring ass class, thass all I gotta say. I can’t ask for everyone that I work for to be excited about my beautiful work but I would like to get paid accordingly. I ain’t worried about getting paid the full sum (and it is not paltry!) but he’s got a convoluted pay scheme that has to this point netted me about 75 dollars a day so far. Uuuhh…hem! That AIN’T gonna get it, dawg! And then according to the same plan, I’ll make about 500 dollars a day next week. It’s confusing, and I NEEED some damn money NOW, Bitch! I know what I’ll do! I’ll give my mortgage company his number and let him explain his pay scale rationale. Whatevah! Don’t wanna upset the Godfather! He might mumble me to death! We’ll make it. We always do. It’s just amazing to me how inconsiderate some clients are. It’s like they think I’ve won the lottery and I just go up and down a 32 foot ladder all day for fun.
The good news is that The OakTeam FINALLY has another gig. After our wedding beatdown a few weeks back, we have an early evening affair over at Sadlack’s Sammich Shop (on Hansbrough St. in Raleigh) tomorrow night (Friday, the 10th) and I expect it to rock not only like ASS, but like the proverbial REBA’S MAMA’S ASS!!!
Also, there is late breaking wind of The OakTeam recording a Mott the Hoople song, “Walking with a Mountain” for Mike Nicholson’s Mott tribute record. I’ve been a fan since I was in the 10th grade so this should be as much fun as stomping fire ants, but I have to say hardly as much fun as I had sitting backstage at The Borderline Club in London after a Yayhoos show talking to Ian Hunter and having him say to me “There’s ain’t many of US left”. DING! That little bell rings inside of me every once in a while… and then I get my ass back in gear.
He’s a rockin’…Shut yo mouf!...
Speaking of getting back in gear, mixing of The Woods’ box has finally started. Now don’t bitch, it won’t take that long to get it together and the results are gonna blow you A..WAaaay!
Listen for us on the Sirius and maybe even the NPR…and believe me, there really is a video…really! I promise! It’s coming! It is…I know it is!....
See y’all at Sadlack’s!!