I can count on one hand the amount of times that I’ve been to a “skrip club” (using the Pacman Jones pronunciation here). I was usually swayed by the gang to join the “fun”, but I can honestly say that there’s probably not a more uncomfortable place to be as a grown up male (well, ‘cept for maybe church or the doctor’s office). And it was not necessarily the nakedness that made me uncomfortable, it was mostly being part of a bunch of guys that I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with. You know’m, they’re the cat-calling, super testosterone, talking-down-to-women bunch. I usually avoid those guys at all costs. The women too in these places are mostly, shall we say, undesirable, especially at a place in Nashville called Club Déjà vu where they boast on their sign “53 beautiful girls and 3 ugly ones”. After going there I was convinced that it was the other way around.
So what made me think about “skrip clubs” on this cold, cloudy Sunday morning? Well, I got to thinking about the music they play in there. It’s been so long since I’ve been; I was wondering what songs the “ladies” were using for their dances these days. If I had to guess, save for an occasional “It Getting’ Hot in Here” I would bet there’s been nothing much to dance to that’s come out in the past dozen years and that they are still getting’ down to .38 Special, ZZ Top and the perfunctory “Addicted to Love”. I’ve got a few suggestions for’m if that’s the case. How about The Yayhoos “Where’s Your Boyfriend At”? That’s got a good beat and it’s also a bit racy. So is “Getting’ Drunk”, from the same record. Check out “I Love You Period” from Dan Baird’s first solo record. Think about it, with a line like “I would mentally undress her” how much more perfect could it be? “Gityoassupda Road” and “Hi and Dry” from the OAKTeam’s last record would defiantly work, as would “Goin’ or Comin’” (extremely racy!) and “Had Me at Get Lost” from the new one.
Ya know, maybe that’s what I’ve been trying to do all these years, write the perfect “skrip club” song?!