Wednesday, December 31, 2008

from Linda in Columbus

OH! speaking of small bills, and holiday- err- 'wine'- you inspired me. I can now say, I have actually BOUGHT- and DRANKED-my FIRST (and I dare say my last) Gen-u-wine, Thunderbird. I wanted to 'bought two quarts', but all I could find was two 'small' bottles-350 ml, I think-the last two, at 1.99 each- so it wasn't nearly as 'literal' as I wanted it to be. I wrapped them in really crumply mangled brown paper bags and purty, sparkly' wire ribbon. It was supposed to be just for a Christmas eve toast, sort of a 'gag' gift (which I do mean, in every literal definition)- to my awe, David actually DRANK, one. THE WHOLE thing. And then he turned a sorta color I ain't never seen before.
Not to be outdone- I got a couple solid swallows in before I realized, there are limits, and I have, evidently, plumbed them.

People, people, people!!! I cannnot stress this enough. "Thunderbird" is just a song. The actual "drink" is not made for human consumption! Well...humans that WANT to LIVE!!! It's made from dumpster juice and pine tree resin. No grapes were actually harmed in the making of this "wine". Please, for God's sake! Do not drink this shit!!! I'm begging you. Yeah, it's a cute song about something stupid I did in college but I honestly barely survived it, OK?! So, don't do it!!!

Have a Happy New Year, everyone. But STAY AWAY FROM THE THUNDERBIRD!!!!


philwo said...

Now I understand why you're beggin' someone to help you to drink it: " Help me drink this Thunderbird". Jeez!!
P.S. It's not JUST a song, it's A SONG!!

Moose said...

Ok.... I'll stay away from the 'Bird. But what about the Roma Rocket? Night Train? Orange Driver? Richards? Mad Dog? Ripple?

Anonymous said...

it weren't all THAT bad.

SO, umm- what DOES brain damage feel like...?