I was laughin’ today about when peas flew outta my nose at the dinner table one night when my Dad was tellin’ the story about Rex the dog. You know the one. Rex is the dog of a high society lady in a big fancy house. Rex is loved and cared for like one of the children. The lady is having a dinner party and feels sorry for her gardener, who is always broke and struggling, and invites him to her soirée. On the day of the party the gardener is completely out of food but for one can of pork and beans. He is starving and debates whether he should eat the beans or not in fear that he might be gaseous that evening. Finally, he gives in and eats the huge can of beans. That night he is introduced to the crowd and though he is not as well dressed as everyone else he is accepted, though still somewhat looked down upon. He sees Rex the dog sitting in the corner and decides that should he sit beside him, he could let out his gaseousness and everyone would think it was the dog. As was bound to happen, the gardener finally lets out a loud fart. Pffft!!
The lady gives Rex a mean eye, “Rex!” The gardener chuckles inside “He he! This is great! I can sit here and do this all night and no one will ever know!”, he says to himself. Soon… Pppffft!!!...he lets out an even louder one! The lady again yells over to the dog “REX!!” The man stares off like he has no part of it. The party is a hit but for this one bother to the lady. Finally, the gardener can’t hold it in any longer and lets out a really loud and wretched one. PPppppfffftttt!!!!! The lady’s head whips around from her conversation,
“REX!!!! Git away from that man before he shits all over you!!”
It was at this point that the peas left my mouth and went shooting out of my nose.
Needless, to say, I was unable to finish my meal.
Well, the wife and I are taking Nathan to the beach again this weekend. So I’m headed down tomorrow to pick up the keg, the case of wine (unfortunately not Gamba) and the half a gallon of tequila. Looking forward to kicking back and finally getting some rest. Y’all have a great weekend!