on being an asshole

I’m not a very good asshole. I’m just too nice. Somewhere along the way around Raleigh though I became known as some big asshole, but I have no clue how that got started. There were times when I wanted to be an asshole, but failed miserably. There were moments when I wanted to go Buddy Rich on everyone and cuss them into a corner, couldn’t do it. I did get a gun pulled on me by Judy at the Free Advice (now gone..but not forgotten club in Raleigh) but that was because David Enloe and I were being silly, not assholes.
Email is different though. I can sometimes pull off being a jerk via Email, like when I Emailed Al Sharpton about the Imus thing. The letter started out “Hey Dumbass!” and then proceeded to inform him of his hypocrisy, namely on how he was the first to jump on the innocent Duke lacrosse players. I kinda went Buddy Rich on him, but not Ty Cobb.
And recently I got an invite from a record store in Ramseur (wherever the hell that is, in the Sandhills I think..) to come to an Avette Brothers in-store appearance. Huh? Are you kidding me? Now those guys are assholes! We (Yayhoos) were hanging out backstage at Twangfest in St. Louis last year and those guys come in and just take over the room, never saying “hello”, “kiss my ass” or nothing! Their shit was everywhere like they just moved in on top of us so we just kinda…left. Anyway, in the Email invite they included all these quotes from famous people about how great the Avette Brothers were so I asked them to include mine..”They suck!”-Terry Anderson.. and to please take me off of whatever list I was on for any future very important updates. Now whether they really suck or not I guess is directly connected to your taste in music. But I for one care less for their brand of Screamo Bluegrass.
Hey wait a minute, maybe I am an asshole. Maybe that’s how I got that reputation by talking shit about other bands? Nah, I just call’m like I see’m…or hear’m.