Friday, December 18, 2009

four letter word stops town

I immediately knew I was in trouble when I pulled in the Food Lion grocery store parking lot. I was only getting my bottle for the night and my usual “pull right in” was now a search for a space. People were running into the store, dragging kids with their shoes flying off. One grandma was pushed over, stuck in her walker and trying to get up and only by the grace of God not trampled. Fights were breaking out as people were trying to get through the door. Inside looked worse, like a cross between a Marx Brothers movie and a Mel Brooks movie starring the Three Stooges and Benny Hill. It was total mayhem. Rednecks took their entire arm to rake loaves of bread into their carts. One lady had 8 gallons of milk under a huge pile of other goods, probably enough for two months. No eggs or butter were left. “What in the hell is going on, the end of the world?” I asked myself. The checkout lines were down the aisles, so folks who were fighting for food were reaching through those trying to get out of there. The shelves were emptying before my eyes, like time lapse photography. I got my bottle and braved the check out. The short red faced guy behind me who wasn’t, but looked like he was chewing tobacco, muttered something indecipherable. He was obviously bitching about the situation at hand. He repeated himself and this time I picked out the four letter word that would cause such a cluster-f***, SNOW! They are calling for snow WEST of here and the whole town is having a FREAK OUT! Jesus! I ain’t never!...

No comments: