Monday, December 10, 2007

finding positives

It’s hard to imagine that positives can be found in the events of the past month concerning the health of both David and my dad. Obviously, my dad is on the road to recovery, albeit the BACKroad, and that’s the number one positive. But it has been a treacherous trip for him, as many times he appeared to be taking a wrong turn. His lungs are still very weak from being collapsed and then full of fluid, ultimately becoming pneumonia. The story of his hospital stay will stick with us for a while and not just because it was so hairy but also because we got to see and meet people that really cared. His nurses, techs, doctors, therapists, all of them, were born for the jobs they do now. None of them appeared to have settled on being what they are or hellraisers or misfits that just decided that that was the only job they were cut out for. They obviously live for their jobs and want more than anything to do it right and make their patients as comfortable as possible. It was kind of eye opening really, especially when you see in other walks of life how little many folks care about their jobs. Granted some of those jobs aren’t as important as being a doctor or a nurse but damn, is it too much to ask for a little service? These people give it and live it.
I never once felt sorry for myself for having to visit and sit in the hospital and wait it out with David and my dad. Afterall, they didn’t want to be there a LOT more than I didn’t and they were both having a hellish time. Truth be told, I was glad to be there spending time with David. We all knew we had a very short time with him and as long as he was still talking he was, for the most part, being wry, being a smartass and being David and oddly we all loved that about him. There were times when he was a bit out there but after a good rest he came back. Finally, it was just too much of a struggle for him. It was so amazing to see the love from all of David’s friends and family, especially the local musicians that were influenced by him and really respected him. Some of them took it even harder than I did. Still, I’m getting hugs from those touched by him. It has, in a weird way brought many in the Triangle music community together.
Sitting and waiting for my dad’s outcome was therapeutic in that I got to spend a lot of time with my sister. We both live very busy lives and hardly EVER get time to sit and just chat about stuff. Like many siblings, were are different in many ways, but we always get along and love each other very much. We spent many hours together and that had missing in my life and hers for a while.
And finally, one of the positives I appreciated most from it all was the feeling of life. You get into ruts in your day to day and start to become numb to all of the emotions that are involved in LIVING. This past month has shown me that I can still cry and that I can still laugh through the tears. It’s not the way I wanted to realize that but sometimes that’s just the way it happens, the way it HAS to happen, grabbing you where you are the most vulnerable.

No comments: