For those of you across the pond, you may not be privy to the goings-on of this first week of July when American drunks everywhere are trying to survive the holiday without a ticket
(DUI or otherwise), a broken arm, a busted head, a divorce or a wrecked vehicle.This is the weekend when just about everybody kicks it up a notch and goes from beer (usually light and pissy tasting) to hard liquor. Then they get together and fall over drunk onto a burning charcoal grill (where hot dogs are burning!) or they get in a boat on a lake and drive too fast until somebody falls out. Sometimes they shoot off fireworks which sometimes results in a lost finger or eye or they dive into the shallow end of the pool and break their nose. Some other fun things to do on the Fourth include passing out drunk in the yard in the middle of the day and getting a severe sunburn, fighting with your wife or girlfriend, playing your OakTeam record way too loud and getting the cops called on you or dancing to your Yayhoos record and twisting your ankle. It's especially great this year because the Fourth falls on a Tuesday which means we celebrate for four full days! I, personally will need to dry out for at least a day or two
I love America!