Locally on TV, we have anti-tobacco PSA’s all the time that show us the horrors of smoking or chewing the stuff. There’s that lady with the hole in her throat who talks like a robot and then the worst one, the kid who chewed and they had to cut half of his face out because of jaw cancer. Hey! You ain’t gotta convince ME! And if you did, those two spots alone would be enough said. But I saw someone New Years Eve that was in worse shape than either of them two, and as far as I know it was not as a result of smoking.
It was a dude named Dick Clark. If you’re in a foreign country you may not know who he is, but I grew up on the guy. He was famous for not only bringing us kids the latest hits on “American Bandstand” but eventually also for his ability to defy age. We all thought, “This guy’s never gonna get old!” Uuuuhh…WRONG! The time has come. Dick! Dude! Who told you it was OK to be on American TV trying to talk? His mouth never closed and his lips never came together. I was weird. It was like watching a fish talk. “Wah wah wah wah”. Please spare us next year, Dick and I’m serious. I’m REALLY sorry you had a stroke and I’m REALLY glad that you are somewhat functional despite having it. But man, THAT was painful to watch! From now on, stay behind the scenes and let Ryan Seacrest make the money for you. This year’s “Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve” was not so rockin’, and it wasn’t Fergie’s fault (although she didn’t help matters). This time I gotta blame it on you, dude. Stay off my TV, get well…or better. I really hope you do. But again, stay OFF of my TV!