Friday, November 02, 2007

gimme back Muzak!

Don’t y’all love the music that stores play these days to make your shopping experience more enjoyable? I was in the grocery store this morning and had to listen to this maddening Allman Brothers shit that was nothing but backwoods jazz. It was meandering guitar solos just weaving their way up and down the chromatic scale. And these old ladies working the cash registers were oblivious to what a steaming pile of crap they were being inundated with. THEN, I went to Wal-Mart, which is always sketchy, and evidently they have their own radio station now. What a happy fuck that DJ was! I’m looking for a pair of gloves and guess what magical number he lays on me, “Puppy Love”. Yep, Donny Osmond’s freaking ice-pic-in-the-earhole classic. I grab the first pair I see and run.
I liked it better when they had Muzak. At least that was kinda fun. You could hear a Tom Petty song or something every once in while.
In a separate instance of bewilderment, why was there a used condom in the parking lot of the Bunn Post Office this morning?

4 comments:

Ace said...

Screw Muzak! I picked up the new "EAGLES" album today at Walmart.*(and only at walmart) It's a friggin 2 disc set with 20 songs for 11.98. And it does rock like ass. The new single was actually written by JD Souther back in 1973. (a great year for R&R) and even Joe Walsh looks animated.

If you haven't seen it yet, I've got it up at my Blog

http://aceandres.blogspot.com/

Ace......

TA said...

I heard and ad for it on the radio and it actually sounded pretty good...and only at Wal-Mart. Kinda like the McCartney thing at Starbucks. I guess our next record will only be available at Dollar General.

Ace said...

Das what I told my wife. The next Ace Andres album available only at Piggly Wiggly.

Anonymous said...

Ah, hell, I happened to go shopping with my wife today and we dropped in on a "lingerie shop" (yes legit, not fredericks of hollywood shit). Uh, before I continue, we live in Ljubljana, Slovenia. Anyways, the clerk is a spittin' image of Mr. Drysdale from the Beverly Hillbillies and the music he had on was the typical Accordian Polka aka "Oberkrain" type (Slovenia is quite famous for that, google "Avsenik"). Now I always feel a little uncomfortable in places like that 'cuz I catch myself lookin' at the other ladies and what they're buying. Now I may have been uncomfortable, but I think "Mr. Drysdale" was the happiest man on earth, or at least in Ljubljana. Polka sure has a bouncy beat. Sorry for the book, but I couldn't believe my ears or eyes.