"T-fiddy"

Through the almost 50 years now that I have been gasping for my next breath, I’ve been called a lot of names. From “Sorry ass” to “Sumbitch”, I’ve heard’m all. Hell, I started off with a name I didn’t want. Even last night at my Dad’s Christmas party I was having to answer to ”Randy”. Uuugh!
Most folks call me “T” or “TA”. Big Al calls me “Little T” (get it? Big Al..Little T?)
But in this new age Hip Hop generation, I’m a want for a hip new name that all the peoples of the world can git wid. I need a name that defines me, one of them names
that says…dumbass, washed-up rock star.
So now, having 50 years under my belt, I’m gonna give myself the moniker….you ready?….”T-fiddy”.
It’s perfect! Immediately you and I know that the 50 year old Terry is who you’re referring to.
So for the next 50 years I’m not gonna answer to any of those other names (unless they apply at the time!).
It’s “T-fiddy” from here on out! You got that?!