Thursday, November 30, 2006

My man?

I’ve got something that’s been on my mind for a while now, maybe even a couple a years. It’s something that I’ve struggled with off and on whenever the subject comes up. I’ve wanted ask for help but I’ve just been too embarrassed. Sometimes I just don’t fit in and it’s because I just haven’t made up my mind about this one thing…Here it is...
If I ever DO give a shit about NASCAR, who is gonna be MY man?
I feel SO left out when 2 Bunn-ions are arguing about their drivers and I SO wanna get in there and discuss hemis, draftin’ and yeller flags with’m.
I almost wanna pull for Jeff Gorgon cuz everybody hates him, either him or Tony Stewart (I had to ask my wife what his name was..she knew it, and I almost fired her!) but Jeff drives Ford and I hate me a damn Ford and hell I can’t even stand Tony Stewart!!
So here’s what I’m looking for, dude has GOT to drive a Dodge! I am a DODGE… MAN! This much I know, and I don’t know who drives a damn Dodge so that’s why I’m strugglin’ with it.
I gotta know before the season starts up again next year cuz I’m REALLY gonna get into it and that’s the only thing been holdin’ me back!
I’m gonna get that dude’s number (whoever y’all pick for me) and put it in my truck window. I’m gonna get me some of his shirts! Damn! I can’t f*ckin’ wait!! I'm gonna be so damn cool!
So hurry up and tell me who my man is, I’m fiddin’ to LOOOOOOVE me some NASCAR!!


Wornoutmorgan said...

Morgan Shepherd is your man, near as I can tell. Got Dodge and god on his side.

Anonymous said...

I can't answer your question as I know next to nothing about NASCAR, but just make sure you don't wind up like this guy who may have taken himself out of the running for father of the year...

(language not safe for work)

Tom in Chicago

Anonymous said...

Here it tis' TA, your man... Ward Burton. He drove a Dodge previously so you're good there - he is driving a Chevy next year so you're good w/ your neighbor cross tha street. He is an underdog and he talks VERY southern so you can't go wrong there. It is a VA Southern accent, not eastern NC, but nice nonetheless. Can't go wrong w/ this one... people will think you've been into nascar for a while cuz the new yuppie fans don't know 'bout him.