I’ve got something that’s been on my mind for a while now, maybe even a couple a years. It’s something that I’ve struggled with off and on whenever the subject comes up. I’ve wanted ask for help but I’ve just been too embarrassed. Sometimes I just don’t fit in and it’s because I just haven’t made up my mind about this one thing…Here it is...
If I ever DO give a shit about NASCAR, who is gonna be MY man?
I feel SO left out when 2 Bunn-ions are arguing about their drivers and I SO wanna get in there and discuss hemis, draftin’ and yeller flags with’m.
I almost wanna pull for Jeff Gorgon cuz everybody hates him, either him or Tony Stewart (I had to ask my wife what his name was..she knew it, and I almost fired her!) but Jeff drives Ford and I hate me a damn Ford and hell I can’t even stand Tony Stewart!!
So here’s what I’m looking for, dude has GOT to drive a Dodge! I am a DODGE… MAN! This much I know, and I don’t know who drives a damn Dodge so that’s why I’m strugglin’ with it.
I gotta know before the season starts up again next year cuz I’m REALLY gonna get into it and that’s the only thing been holdin’ me back!
I’m gonna get that dude’s number (whoever y’all pick for me) and put it in my truck window. I’m gonna get me some of his shirts! Damn! I can’t f*ckin’ wait!! I'm gonna be so damn cool!
So hurry up and tell me who my man is, I’m fiddin’ to LOOOOOOVE me some NASCAR!!